A new colleague asked me the other day to tell them a bit about myself, and for the first time in my life I was at a bit of a loss. I shared about how I’m a mum to a 13 month old and talked about our little family. And that was it. I mean, that’s heaps and it’s wonderful but it’s also very different to before. Prior to becoming a mum I had hobbies and interests that I could quickly and enthusiastically identify. Not any more. I get the impression I’m not alone in feeling this way. We become parents and lose ourselves in the magic, privilege and responsibility and all the trappings it brings.
It’s different to what you imagine
Put most of your preconceived ideas about what parenthood is like aside. Reality will hit like nothing you’ve ever experienced!
OK, not to scare anyone, but holy shit! How do families all over town, the country, the world do this on a day-to-day basis?! I found the first six months particularly challenging. I think there needs to be a huge celebration at that point – because if you can get through that, you can get through anything!! Continue reading
When I wrote Survival Mode, I was a bit broken…little did I know it would get worse. Everyday, I woke up and genuinely had hope my baby would go back to how she used to be: a self- settling good sleeper…or that I wouldn’t be so stressed that she doesn’t sleep anymore. But each laboured bedtime was wearing me down until the other night I was a sobbing mess at another failed settling attempt. “I can’t do this anymore!” I whined. I don’t know what I thought the alternative was but something had to change. Continue reading
To Sleep Like A Baby: To experience a very deep and restful sleep; to sleep soundly.
If only it were that easy. For the baby or for you.
All of these motherly things such as breastfeeding or settling a baby, I thought they would just come naturally. Little did I know it takes a lot of hard work and persistence to make
People will helpfully give you the advice: “Sleep when the baby sleeps”. I’m sorry, it doesn’t quite work like that. My experience might be different to most other people’s but my reality was a baby who rarely slept for longer than 20 mins at a time during the day and then stretches of 3-4 hours overnight up to 4 months old. It’s amazing how much sleep deprivation you can actually cope with as a new parent, but after weeks and weeks of it, it takes its toll. If you are experiencing anything like this, you have my deepest sympathy. Please be kind to yourself!
We reached crisis point with the catnaps, but mostly the upsets which turned out to be a feeding issue (see (Breast/Bottle) Feeding) and in came a Karitane Nurse who diagnosed the problem, taught us self settling and gave us a routine and was gone in 90 minutes. And from then our lives changed for the better. Let me save you $270 and further heartache, distress, worry and share with you what we learned and what is working for us. Continue reading
Breast Is Best
Before Jessica was born, I had firm views on how I would feed her.
In antenatal class, we were told that “breast is best” and that 96% of mothers have sufficient supply to feed their baby. We even did an exercise where we got into groups and shared whether we were breast or formula-fed. About 18 of us reporting back that we were breast-fed and two who weren’t. Even though I was firmly in the “breast is best” camp, I couldn’t help but feel it was a shitty exercise to single out those whose mothers didn’t toe the line… Classes like that appeal to me, because I like to take information like that and adhere to it to the letter, that way I know I’m getting it right. Continue reading
Your partner has gone back to work. It’s you, your mini-human and the four walls of your lounge. Your life is now a series of 3-hour cycles and you might start to feel like you’re losing your mind from sleep-deprivation. You crave a long sleep, a delicious and uninterrupted meal and a holiday…but none of those things are going to happen anytime soon. What you need is a team: a support network. Continue reading